Yeah, today pretty much sucked.

To start off, I was driving back home after taking Stella to grandma's for the day so I could "work" and low and behold, I got pulled over for speeding. Yes, yes I was speeding, but geez can't a girl catch a break, it totally made me want to cry. Not to try to get out of it, but just this whole year so far, shit on a shingle. Yup, got a nice fat chunky ticket for $85 and 2 points, goodbye clean driving record. Then get home, drink my coffee and eat my bagel from Tim Hortons and wait.....and wait.......waiting.....waiting and waiting. OK, any work today???? So, email the boss, sure sure got some on the way. RIGHT! 2:50pm, sends me a job. Well, 40 minutes later I leave to pick up Stella, oh but first the phone rings. It's my dear friend Julie who calls me to tell me that her father died today. God, why does this stuff happen to people who don't deserve it? I know that death is not something earned or deserved, but you and I both know that Julie and Scott have other things that they deal with everyday and now you add her dad, who up until this very day was FINE. I just don't understand life. One day your fine, the next you spouse finds you on the kitchen floor. What's wrong with this picture?

My brother Joe calls, he eats dinner with us, things seem to be getting better. Joe leaves we say our goodbyes, and Stella is tired and basically asks to go to bed. Wow, this NEVER happens. Matt trots her off to her room for stories, songs and lights out. She sleeps for about 30 minutes and then the marathon starts. I go back to Friday where she ate part of a "monster cookie" a concoction of overly colored frosting and 2 cookies. Yummy, but extremely messy and dieable. The next morning *warning: graphic content* her doo doo is half green-blue, half "natural" color. So, I laugh and say something about her poo being green. So, fast forward to today, she is obsessed about not wanting her butt to be green. At grandma's apparently she has wanted cream on her bottom constantly. And, so continues Matt's and my night of frustration and irritability. We both together do not deal with stress well, but usually try to balance eachother out when it comes to her, but not tonight. We were both annoyed after about 3.5 hours of the constant I want cream on my butt, I want water, I want cartoons, blah blah blah blah blah. It just got to this point where we're all just yelling. I'm sure all the neighbors could hear, I'm actually sort of embarrassed. Actually I feel like and vocalized that I think I'm the worst mother that ever existed, Matt of course disagrees with me, but what would you say to the face of the worst mother in the world if you were standing in front of her?

I love Stella so much, and would stand in front of a bullet for her if I had my choice, but she is so bull headed, where could she have gotten that from, and stubborn. If she wants something, she'll fight with us for hours, 6.5 to be exact, just to get her way. I think what finally did it was giving her a bath and then I put hydrocortisone cream on and she did ask one more time and finally I think exhaustion just wore her down. God only knows what time she'll get up in the morning, could be 6am for all I know.

Poor Matt went to bed about the same time as she did and he gets up at 5:30am, as for me, I am still awake at almost 3am but going to bed soon and will set the alarm for 8am, 5 hours should be sufficient. Here's to you Monday, let's hope Tuesday turns out better.