No More Creative ADD

Well, I decided the other day that I was going to turn a new leaf. I will no longer be ranting and raving about useless junk and trying to refocus my efforts on more positive pursuits. I have created a new blog called My Re-envisioned Vision. It's just a place where I can talk about the positive things going on in life and I will have a running list of inspiring blogs and things. There will likely be less focus on work and the not so good things happening in my life. So, if you will, please join me at myre-envisionedvision.blogspot.com

Thanks.

Cute New Hair Do.

Thank god dance class is done, we could finally cut Stella's hair. I was soooooo tired of the "little girl" look she had going and wanted something only slightly more sophisticated to suit her face better. Here are pics, sorry no before, only after shots. Now tonight we start Acrobats, but only for the month of July, it's something she's always talked about wanting to do, so I figured why not for only $30.

Not Really Impressed and Other Disasters.

Let's see, how was the Shop Hop Bus Tour??? Well, personally for me, I was greatly disappointed and if I had had to pay for any of it, I would have felt gypped. My first store was Scrappy Chic, which I love, but because I didn't know what to expect with the other stores, I didn't buy anything there, but I WISH I HAD! They always have what I want and the other stores did not to say the least. We did a really cool make and take there that was one of those framed glass necklaces, actually we did 2 of them and I was impressed that the make n takes in general were not cheap and not well thought out. So, as we were leaving it was pouring. My friend and I hopped on the bus and sat in the very back row. BIG MISTAKE!! I sat in the middle in the back row and I could see the road ahead of us and not to mention because of the rain, I had two leaks behind me one on each shoulder blade and one in front of me between my legs. My only consolation was that the rain did eventually stop, but not before the bus driver almost killed us and began fish tailing on the expressway due to a suddenly stopped vehicle. Next it was on to "Scrapbookers Inc." I'm not sure where it was exactly, but I think White Lake somewhere. It was a nice store, but because they were in the process of moving, they hardly had anything in stock, NOT COOL! The make n take was nice, a clip board that you hang with a ribbon and we stamped and embossed on it. It is pretty and I have it hanging in my hallway. Next we ate lunch, which was delicious and one of the only redeeming qualities of the whole trip and then it was on our way to "Maggie's Scrapbooking." Honestly, I don't remember where that one was. Here shop looked good when you first walked in, modern with lot's of room and a decent sized crop space, but she didn't have anything new, not even the new Making Memories stuff, which I thought was almost pretty standard in most stores, guess I was wrong. We made an ok plastic purse thing that we used glue and glitter on. Have you heard the saying that "Glitter is the STD of craft supplies?" You know it's true, once you get it on you, it takes forever to get rid of. Then finally, as we are running tremendously late, we head to fricking Sterling Heights to "Scrapbookers Emporium." Snooze fest and horribly ugly and long and boring make n take, I won't even describe it to you as I will spare you the U-G-L-Y details. We got there at about 4:45 and we were supposed to be back in Livonia at 5pm?!?!?!?! I had to be back home at least by 5:45 to get Stella ready for her Dance Recital, so I knew I was screwed and the other ladies didn't hesitate to tell me the same. We left that store at around 5:30, luckily and I was dropped off by my friend at 6:45 at the venue for the recital. I was so happy to see Stella there looking beautiful in her bun, kitty ears, makeup and kitty kat whisker face, which I was informed by my 4 year old that it was done in MARKER!?!?!? Luckily once I talked to daddy, he informed me that it was washable marker. MEN! Also, just before they were due to line up to go on stage she informed me that not only did she have to go potty, but she had to go #2, why now??? Well, everything went off without a hitch and in the end I bought her a rose to boot. The next morning when talking to her grandma on the phone who did not attend the recital, she told her that she "got a flower because she WON the dress rehearsal." I had to keep from laughing out loud as she was completely serious. My MIL told me that I did the right thing by getting her that little pink rose, because it was all she could talk about the morning of the recital.

Well, bed time for her that night was delayed by about 2 hours and we didn't even stay past the intermission, but the next day, she was just in a rotten mood by about 4pm and by 7pm we had had it, her screaming and whining at the drop of a hat was not what we could handle after such a long weekend. But, what made me really sad was that in the midst of struggling to get her ready for bed, teeth brushed and pj's on, she questioned if I loved her. What? Was this really something that was ever in doubt? Do brand new 4 year olds actually ask their parents if they love them? Did I do something horribly wrong? Have I failed at something? Tell me, have you ever been asked this by someone so young?

After all the good this weekend, I only hold tight right now to that one thought that lingered in my babies heart, "Momma, don't you love me?"

13 Weeks Along

So, I am officially 13 weeks, and today was the first day where I didn't feel like puking my guts out after eating absolutely anything. YEAH ME!! So I've been really busy lately, just working and living and trying to be creative in some way each day, not always succeeding. You know, I just realized I us the "so," in my sentences alot, sorry, I'll try to avoid that. This Saturday should be pretty exciting as I am busy all day quite literally. Starting at 9:30am, my friend Julie is picking me up and we're heading to Scrappy Chic in Livonia to go on there store shop tour. I was asked to create the logo for this event and so was able to pay for 2 seats on the bus for both Julie and myself and we are both excited. 4 stores in one day, a ride on one of those luxury bus things, lunch, make and takes and special discounts at each store only for us. Then as soon as I get back, I need to get right home and get Stella ready for her first dance recital. We are due to arrive back at Scrappy Chic by 5pm and I need to get Stella to the venue by 7pm. That means bathed, hair done, makeup, costume, grab the shoes that are now WAY too tight and make sure my parents are ready to go as well. Oh yeah, fit some food in there at some point. But, Sunday, I will chill out and relax, hopefully it won't rain. Yeah right!

Wow! Scrapbooked Again.

I entered a challenge at a LSS and here is what I did. The idea was to do a layout about a dad in your life and I had to use at least 2 Doodlebug products. I'm not really a fan of Doodlebug, so this challenge was sort of difficult, just to find those couple products, but I did, and I even like what I came up with. The title is "Dad Arms" and it reads: A father is only a man, but when his arms and strength are needed, he becomes a cuddly super hero. It was just a nice little exercise seeing as I haven't had a moment for myself in the last few months and I suspect that this will continue for about the next hmmmmmmmmm,..... 18 YEARS OR SO! But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Peace.

So Much To Talk About.

So, my little baby turned 4 yesterday and she's becoming so mature. Dressing herself, playing well independently, even closing here door when she needs to "be alone." How does this happen so fast, it seems like just yesterday this is what she looked like.

Now, here she is right after all her guests left her party on Saturday night.


Well, just to update everyone on the Posh Picnic kit, while it has not been as successful as we hoped, we believe it is due to a lack of info in the industry on just how to use digital scarpbooking supplies. We are working with Tricia from Cocoa Daisy to try different avenues on how to get the word out for people that are interested in our work, but just aren't sure how to wrap their minds around it.

On a different note, I've actually lined up a project for myself to create a First Year photo Album for a baby shower for a young girl a couple houses down who's having a baby that's due September 9th. When I first had learned that Mandy was pregnant at 19 with no husband, I was a little put off and quite honestly sort of mad. I mean, Matt and I have always done everything "by the book" "like we're supposed to" and yet somehow we don't always get the results we're expecting, so hearing that a teenager was about to be an unwed mother, was a little upsetting. But, after 14 months of trying, luckily we are now happily expecting.

Here is our first shot of baby #2. I've drawn around the shape for those of you who find ultrasounds confusing, because lord knows I used to feel the same way about them.

The Real Deal Now

Here is our actual preview for our first ever digital collaboration kit at www.cocoadaisy.com and Mars and I are so very excited to have it go on sale June 1st, so please at least stop in the Cocoa Daisy shop to see it right there in all it's glory. Posh Picnic will be available for purchase for $9.75 and instant download and contains well over 200 pieces including but not limited to gorgeous patterned papers, 3 fabulous alphabets created by yours truly, quick pages, digital clipping masks, and a whole score of ribbons. Just check it out, the preview contains so much, but not quite everything, I could never have put everything in it. Let me know what you think of it. Plus, Mars created this way cool hybrid project where you can use our awesome digital papers to assemble fun cocktail beverage parasols. So cute! It should be a must for your next mixer involving alcohol or a a fun summer kids birthday party.

Can you say TWINS?

Ha ha, fooled you, you actually thought I was having twins. Well, if you're Matt, you've been joking all week that you think I'm having twins. I guess it's because I'm only like 8 weeks along and already wearing some maternity clothes, even some neighbors have noticed that I'm showing, so I'm slightly terrified that on June 9th at 1:30pm, the ultrasound tech will inform me that she sees not one but TWO tiny babies growing. You see, my aunt had a set of fraternal twins, my great grandmother was a fraternal twin and apparently twins exist on my in laws side as well. Obviously having twins would be a blessing, a double blessing, but I don't know if financially we could handle it, Matt would probably have to become Mr. Mom for a while so that I could go out in search of a better job with insurance. That seems REALLY scary to me at this point, but if it had to be done, it would be. So, let's just pray that I'm sick because sometimes that what second pregnancies bring and I'm already showing because well, I weigh 94 pounds less than I did with Stella, yeah, that sounds good.

A Sneaky Peak

Well, I know some time back I mentioned something about a venture that my creative partner and I were getting in on and well, it is almost upon us. Hopefully by June 1st my friend and I will have our first ever coordinating digital kit in the shop over at Cocoa Daisy!!!!!!!!!!!! If you haven't heard of them, please stop in and have a looksee www.cocoadaisy.com Tricia over there is SOOOOO amazingly cool and kind that she is willing to try it out for the month of June to see if anything sells, were really hoping to have a large, amazing looking kit to sell to all the veteran and newbie digi scrappers. Here is a sneak peak of what's to come.

This is really just the sample preview so you can see the items in the kit before you buy. Believe you me, the preview at the moment DOES NOT contain all of our items, we are still working on them. So, wish us luck, we both have our fingers crossed, and oh yea, the best part is we will be the only digital kit in the shop, so no competition. Lucky us!

Funny Stella.

I'm back and fortunately for me, today was a good day. No pukey puke feelings, well a little at first maybe. Yes, we did tell the little miss, last Friday, and she seemed quite excited and for a while there, I thought I was gonna have to answer the "when's the baby coming out" question everyday. But, since the baby is due around Christmas, that is something that she can really grasp, but I'm sure once Thanksgiving hits, and all the holiday hoopla begins, THEN, I'll hear that everyday. So, it's been a couple days since she's asked me if she could talk to the baby, or has hit me right in the gut, but today, so funny, out of the blue she says, "So mom, how's that baby coming along?" I just laughed out loud, she is so wise beyond her years.

Nausea, All Day Every Day

So, as I thought, my nausea is here to stay, but it seems that I can at least count on that by 7pm, LIKE MAGIC, it simply disappears. While this is not very conducive to an easy working day that I'm used to, at least in working from home, I can take cat naps and basically remain lethargic and in pj's if I so choose all day long. I'm still trying to figure out what it is I can eat that won't make me sick, it's really a lot of trial and error. I think that my caffeine headaches have finally passed, thank god, those were no fun in combination with the pukey feeling. I bought my first official pair of maternity jeans today and a couple of tank tops. Sadly my regular jeans are feeling a little snug and making me uncomfortable, even my "big" jeans feel tight. Well, I guess I'm technically almost 2 months along, and having had one baby already, this truly could be what is happening. Last night, what I was wearing really highlighted my pooch, I got a little excited I have to admit, I loved having my bump around, it made me feel more feminine if you can imagine. Oh yeah, we told my MIL about the baby and while she didn't congratulate us, she did in her very own way. And, she hasn't said anything negative yet, not even alone to Matt, so she must be happy. Let's just go with that!

Rough Day.

Well, most of yesterday was spent horizontal because I simply felt like garbage. I'm so not used to this, even Matt had to comment that it's been a very long time since he's seen me just sitting around, I'm usually at least at my desk working if nothing else. However, the thought of sitting in front of my computer literally made me feel nauseous. Stella doesn't understand if I need to nap, she thinks it's a punishment for her, really all of yesterday felt like a punishment for me. When I was pregnant with Stella, I was sort of cocky because the worst of my symptoms was heartburn and that only occurred when I had acidic things, so it was easier to avoid those food items, but now, I have no idea exactly how to curb the wave that comes over me yet. I almost didn't get Stella to ballet class and even had to ask her dance teacher to hold class in the room that didn't have the bathroom, just in case I had to run in and puke. She was very understanding, but I quickly had to tell her that we haven't told Stella yet and she understood. We don't want to tell Stella until Friday and then we're gonna go over to my MIL's to tell her Saturday. We were gonna wait to tell her on Sunday for Mothers Day, but if I feel the way I have been, I'm not too keen on going over to her house for an early dinner, if you know what I mean. As it is, my SIL has a weak stomach and all I'd have to say is that most of my day is spent feeling like I'm going to hurl and it would set her off and I would be made to feel guilty. See, this is how it works for me. We don't know how my MIL will receive this information if she will be mad, happy, annoyed or all of the above, it's a toss up. If she feels like our situation is not conducive to bringing more children into the world, then she will let it be known. But, if we waited until all our little ducks were in a row, I believe I would be WAY past proper breeding age and then it would be preposterous for me to even think of having another child. And, not to mention, she had her two kids, LET ME HAVE MINE! Like I said, I don't know how she'll react, but I'm preparing myself for a let down. But, we're happy and that's all that matters, she'll come around eventually.

I'm Pregnant!

I feel sick in the morning, the things that used to taste good to me make me feel sick, I get tired and sick in the late afternoon and have to nap. I can't seem to shake this headache that I have that makes me feel like I slept too long and of course I have to take those big long honkin' torpedo looking prenatal vitamins. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. Stella will be a big sister right after Christmas this year, so we are thrilled. I'll keep ya updated, but I'll spare you the how big, what the development is and such, but I will let you know how it's going. Thanks!

Our little Purrrrrincess!

Stella had her picture taken today with her dance class. She will be having her recital on Saturday, June 28th, so it was picture day in full costume. If you can't tell, she is a Kitty Cat, well Copy Cat to be exact. It was fun getting her ready, a reminder of my former past as a ballerina. Most people probably don't know that I danced for about 7 years, everything from ballet to jazz to tap to hawaiian to clogging. At the time I didn't totally appreciate it, but looking back, I'm glad I did it. I think in a strange way it formed who I am today, someone able to adapt to situations and be who I am in a group be it silly, talented, serious, poised or a hopeless goof. I love her more than I could have ever imagined and to see her doing things I once did yet seeming so different from how I remember myself as a little girl, it's almost cathartic. To me, she was the cutest one there, but I'm sort of partial I guess.

The Week Of Boo Boos

*EDITED*

So, it may or may not be obvious, but I know have a working keyboard and my sentences will be rife with s p a c e s and 123123123 and """""""""" and --------'s. Alright, aside from the new keyboard that arrived so did a very clumsy lady. It started Wednesday, she sat on the edge of a tv tray in front of the television and as it collapsed, she hit her chin on the edge of the table the tv sits on. She began to cry and then as I placed the band aid on she audibly said "Ahhhhhh." She's pretty tough, always has been, not a big crier out of pain, mostly out of annoyances. When ever she falls down now, before we can say anything at all, she yells "I'M ALRIGHT!" Later that night while outside with daddy, she ran and fell hurting her knees and staining her new tan capris, UGH dad! Again, she was alright. Today upon returning from grandma's house, she lifts her shirt to show me yet another scrape. This one looks to be the worst yet, and she tells me she got it when she "fell on the old pic-a-nic table." Love how she says things sometimes. So, she was tested this week by gravity, and while scathed, no worse for the wear.

On a different note, I am toying with the idea of participating in both the CK Scrapbooker of the Year Contest and the Memory Makers Masters Contest. Just think it would be good to get me scrapping again. And, yes my new venture she be launching in June, I will continue to keep you posted.

*I was just informed that on a bike ride with Daddy tonight while I was gone, Stella biffed on her bike. Fell flat on her chest, even elicited a person peeking out of his door to ask if she was alright. She cried for a moment and then got right back on her bike. That's my girl!

-Peace

Forgot To Post...

So a while back when the weather was first nice, I forgot to post about the day I built myself a picnic table. You see, I really wanted one, but we just do not have the extra right now to drop $400 on a piece of wood, so we cleaned out the garage and found perfect substitutes for everything to build a nice sized picnic table thing. We found a piece of an old fence and 2 saw horses that were the perfect height for our collapsible chairs we use. Everything just came out very nicely and I only needed to paint on one coat of white paint to make it look good. Here are some shots from that day, Matt also built a bike for me that day from some spare parts. It was a great little family day and Stella had a blast!

Computer Lesson #1

OK folks this is the keyboard lesson. Don,t drink and type. Especially if you are a spazz like I am and spill drink on said keyboard. The only way I,m able to write this here message is to copy and paste a sentence with already existing spaces in it and as you may have noticed, my apostrophe doesn,t work either. Tomorrow I really need to buy a new flippin keyboard!

Giving A Shout Out To My Homies!

So, ok, technically they aren't my homies, but I've been chatting it up a little with Jen from Bam Pop and they are an amazing company. www.bampop.com

Not only do they design really cool stuff, but they are a genuinely nice and kind company that's willing to give a newbie a good bit of information with which to commence her journey into this all to often unfriendly world that is scrapbooking materials design. So, to you BAM POP I say I "Heart" You! And, I will be a customer of yours forever.

I Scrapped, I Scrapped, Oh My God I Actually Scrapped!

I think I'm gonna start checking in with Effer Dares, www.efferdares.com on a regular basis to get myself scrapping again. The challenges are simple, but they are also just that, challenges. Basically just a one sentence prompt that will get you going and it got me to scrap about something I rarely get involved with, myself. It was fun and got me to take a new pic of myself. Not the most flattering, but yet another that Stella can look at later in life and show her kids when they ask what grandma looked like at 30.

Moving on, I soon will be involved in a new and exciting venture that I can't wait to reveal to all 3 people who read my blog (she chuckles, but it's true). I can't say exactly yet, but I will tell you that the name of the site involves something yummy to drink and something pretty that grows in the ground. The owner of the site is very excited about getting involved in digital scrapbooking kits and so are Mars (my partner from AZ) and I. Once things are fully established and live, I will clue you all in. I'm thinking it could be as soon as June perhaps. So, wish me luck ladies.

Catching A Break?

So, the job stuff still sucks. Still working my ass off and still only recognized for my failures. Why don't employers see that not only do they need to tell us when we screw up, but also when we've accomplished something that surprised them in a good way, or we've surpassed there expectations, or if we simply continue to be there every single day, day in and day out without a raise in over a year???? EMPLOYERS OF THE WORLD: WAKE UP!!! Without us little peons where would you be? We, the work horses of America keep this little train called MONEY chugging along and you pay us our measly stipend and we just TAKE IT... We take your abuses, your lack of understanding and your mental anguish you impose upon us. Why? Because we sadly need you as much as you need us. UGH.

On a brighter note, I have a second interview for a job in Ann Arbor, too bad it's not a full time job, but it could eventually turn into one. I don't know if I want the job, but at least I could leave where I am, maybe.

I have this vision of telling off my boss. Not by calling him a jerk or what have you, but laying it all out there. I am only one person, I can't be expected to be perfect all the time, but it's not as if I miss things on purpose. I am not the only checkpoint in this assembly line, why can't person A be held to the same standards as myself, person B and you person C there is a reason it comes into your hands as well so you can then make sure things looks good. Besides, if your "team" is so well crafted, why don't you train them to do what it is that I do? Or maybe you can check your templates to make sure they are accurate for the things you are telling me I am doing wrong so that you'd see that you are really the person that finger needs to be waived at. Guess what??? It is you that are killing me!

Still Not Good Enough...

So, I'm so f*ing tired of hearing shit from my boss. UGH!!!!!!! I thought I was doing well, but apparently I'm a huge disappointment and the only reason I still have a job is because he is being "courteous" his word, not mine. BULLSHIT, don't keep me to be courteous, man up and fire me and let me claim unemployment! I really am good at what I do, why can't anyone see that? I am desperate to find a new job, any job at this point, not even in design, as long as it pays pretty well, that's the only problem. I am way past the point of a $10/hr job doin' it for me financially. I am the breadwinner and have to find a job accordingly. Come on Michigan, get your shit together and let's get some jobs going, we are dying over here.

Normal Day.

So, today was pretty uneventful. Worked, did the check book, made dinner, painted with Stella and think I had more fun than she did. I have decided however that I am going to start scrapbooking again to try and get published. I never have been, but it is a goal of my to get published as much as possible. I'd like to think that some of what I do has a fresh approach to it, probably doesn't, but a girl can try can't she? I know that you can't post any layouts if you've submitted it to a magazine and such, but here is a layout that I submitted just now for a local scrapbook store. If mine is chosen, I get an American Crafts prize pack. I love AC and would love to win any of their products. Not to mention, win anything. Hope everyone had a lovely St. Patty's Day!

Had An Interview Today.

So, on a whim I saw something on Craig's List that I knew I was pretty much qualified for and thought what the heck, I'll email them. To my surprise, the position had not been filled yet, so I sent all my info and voila, I was asked for an interview. I wasn't really nervous at all, but driving to Ann Arbor at the end of the day of a very ECK week, I was practically drowsy by the time I go there. I tried to maintain good eye contact without looking like I had x-ray vision and tried to keep the conversation flowing. Basically the company is one of those home party sell ya stuff kind of places, but they need there catalogs redesigned in the proper program and generally refined. And, to boot, the woman wasn't at all concerned that I'd never created catalogs before. I simply told her that design is something that you either know or you don't, but creating something in a program is semantics. I think she agreed, now all I have to do is come up with a quote for completely recreating a 32 page catalog and making changes to a 60 page catalog. This should seem daunting, but at 1:22am it doesn't really seem that way. My problem is I don't want to overshoot my bid, but I don't want to get screwed in the process either. The woman kept hinting at me, well really telling me that they spend quite a bit to get these catalogs made, so basically if I do my research, I good get quite a pretty penny for this work. And, not to mention, eventually this could be an actual full time job. For some reason, I really think the woman really wanted me to have the job, that felt good. So, I created what we in the business call a "Leave Behind" special just for this company. Since they sell purses, jewelry and the like, I fashioned a resume/mini portfolio that looked like a purse, and she really seemed to like that too. Thanks to my scrapbooking skills, I pulled it off quite nicely, here have a look.

Yeah, today pretty much sucked.

To start off, I was driving back home after taking Stella to grandma's for the day so I could "work" and low and behold, I got pulled over for speeding. Yes, yes I was speeding, but geez can't a girl catch a break, it totally made me want to cry. Not to try to get out of it, but just this whole year so far, shit on a shingle. Yup, got a nice fat chunky ticket for $85 and 2 points, goodbye clean driving record. Then get home, drink my coffee and eat my bagel from Tim Hortons and wait.....and wait.......waiting.....waiting and waiting. OK, any work today???? So, email the boss, sure sure got some on the way. RIGHT! 2:50pm, sends me a job. Well, 40 minutes later I leave to pick up Stella, oh but first the phone rings. It's my dear friend Julie who calls me to tell me that her father died today. God, why does this stuff happen to people who don't deserve it? I know that death is not something earned or deserved, but you and I both know that Julie and Scott have other things that they deal with everyday and now you add her dad, who up until this very day was FINE. I just don't understand life. One day your fine, the next you spouse finds you on the kitchen floor. What's wrong with this picture?

My brother Joe calls, he eats dinner with us, things seem to be getting better. Joe leaves we say our goodbyes, and Stella is tired and basically asks to go to bed. Wow, this NEVER happens. Matt trots her off to her room for stories, songs and lights out. She sleeps for about 30 minutes and then the marathon starts. I go back to Friday where she ate part of a "monster cookie" a concoction of overly colored frosting and 2 cookies. Yummy, but extremely messy and dieable. The next morning *warning: graphic content* her doo doo is half green-blue, half "natural" color. So, I laugh and say something about her poo being green. So, fast forward to today, she is obsessed about not wanting her butt to be green. At grandma's apparently she has wanted cream on her bottom constantly. And, so continues Matt's and my night of frustration and irritability. We both together do not deal with stress well, but usually try to balance eachother out when it comes to her, but not tonight. We were both annoyed after about 3.5 hours of the constant I want cream on my butt, I want water, I want cartoons, blah blah blah blah blah. It just got to this point where we're all just yelling. I'm sure all the neighbors could hear, I'm actually sort of embarrassed. Actually I feel like and vocalized that I think I'm the worst mother that ever existed, Matt of course disagrees with me, but what would you say to the face of the worst mother in the world if you were standing in front of her?

I love Stella so much, and would stand in front of a bullet for her if I had my choice, but she is so bull headed, where could she have gotten that from, and stubborn. If she wants something, she'll fight with us for hours, 6.5 to be exact, just to get her way. I think what finally did it was giving her a bath and then I put hydrocortisone cream on and she did ask one more time and finally I think exhaustion just wore her down. God only knows what time she'll get up in the morning, could be 6am for all I know.

Poor Matt went to bed about the same time as she did and he gets up at 5:30am, as for me, I am still awake at almost 3am but going to bed soon and will set the alarm for 8am, 5 hours should be sufficient. Here's to you Monday, let's hope Tuesday turns out better.

My Latest Project.

Here, as promised are pictures of my latest piece of art I'm working on. It will eventually somehow house pictures and bits of ephemera. So, here's to being creatively inspired throughout your day. Peace.

Putting Out Good Vibes.

So, I sit here tonight, trying to find books to read that will make me feel positive. It's hard, with how few jobs are out there, but I'm trying to remain motivated. I'm gonna look through Deepak Chopra's "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success," and Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life" in hopes that maybe as I sleep something will come to me. What stinks is that I know I could do what anyone would ask of me, it's selling that idea to a potential employer. I have been a designer or almost 1/3 of my life, I CAN DO THIS, please let me prove it to you. I need a purpose, I like being driven, I had goals, and things I'd like to achieve. Without a decent job, I am going nowhere and fast. I hate what my life feels like right now, sad, repititious, hopeless, redundant, lack luster, fleeting, scary, and most of all depressing. I don't want to feel any of these things anymore, I want to feel energized again, not sick of life at only 30. UGH!

How's Your Credit?

So, anyone who reads this blog has seen that Matt and I aren't currently in the best financial situation, but I stumbled on this and may use it to start re-establishing our good credit. The website is credit cards for bad credit and it's purpose it to show the top 10 credit cards for people with bad credit and provides their application links so that you can just go and apply. It's just good to know that there are places out there for lost souls like us, who have good intentions, but not such good practices at the moment. Check them out, it may be your best chance, just like it could be ours.

Todays Cool Finds.

So, today my friend Julie invited me to go to a Craft Show. The first one we went to was at St. Linus in Dearborn Heights and to be pretty honest, it sucked. I would say about half of the booths were not "craft" items, but rather, those home party items like Tastefully Simple, Cookie Lee, Home Interiors crap that if I was a crafter at that show, I'd be pissed. Aren't those people missing the point of a "Craft" show, they should have just called it a Crap Show. So, needless to say, we bought edible goodies there, probably the only good stuff at that show. The next one we went to was at the Lutheran High School in Westland by the mall. That was really good and I even bought a VERY unique bracelet there. Here is a pic of it. I warn you, it's sorta creepy, but I thought it was Oh So Cool! Yes, that is a real dead beetle. This is the exact bug that appears in my bracelet. I just thought it was such a novel idea. I've always wanted that piece of jewelry that everyone is like "Oh my god, where the heck did you get that." Her website is www.natureisbeauty.com and she has really cool stuff and she lives in Ann Arbor, I may be buying more stuff from her, just because it's so different. Maybe as gifts for my peeps, who knows. Also, today we went to Reuse Ann Arbor, SO COOL. I found two old screen doors that are about 1.5' x 5' that I'm going to put up on my wall and mount photos, Stella drawings and bits of ephemera to. I'll be sure to take pics later on tomorrow and post them. I'm really hoping that it comes out uber cool. I LOVE ART! I really like that my husband is so cool about what I like to do too, that definitely helps. He absolutely does not care what I do, as long as I don't touch his basement. I could care less about any room that dips below about 60 degrees in the winter time, you won't catch my anemic ass down there for long periods of time during these cold Michigan days. Well, until I have more randomness to speak of, peace out.

Creative Friends.

Just want to write a little bit about someone that someday soon I'll be able to say I knew her when. I have been lucky enough to become friends with this woman whom I call Mars, but she will also be known for her CactusMango Designs. She is a truly amazing up and coming designer of digital scrapbooking supplies and I have been lucky enough to collaborate with and bounce ideas off of this truly talented woman. We actually make a pretty good team! We rock! I took a pic I had of Stella and added her cool doodles, you soon will see much more of this awesome chick and her ingenious design work. For now, you can see her work in shops such as Cafe Press and Zazzle at http://cactusmangodesigns.com/ and at the bottom a little something that will be revealed in time called Dreaming With Pixels. Check her out, she's a can't miss, then you'll be able to say, you used her stuff when she was just starting out.

Holiday Shopping, Already Thinkin' Bout It.

Was reminded of this by Matt the other day as we were discussing Christmas time. Don't know if anyone has heard of other sites like this one, but this one seemed the most helpful. It's called Black Friday and you can find the site here bfads It basically collects all the data from almost any store you could think of and shows you all their Black Friday Christmas shopping ads. Better yet, they let you buy them over the internet from the comfort of your home for those of us who can't get there sorry butts out of bed at 4am the day after Thanksgiving like myself. All I did was pick out all the stuff Stella talked about through the weeks and started figuring out who had the best prices. Then when I heard about this place, they had the ads up ahead of time and I began shopping. I was even able to had things held at Walmart and just waited till things chilled out at the stores and picked them up from the store when I felt like, that way I saved on shipping too. I am definitely gonna do that again next year. And, I know how all you ladies like a good deal.

Sorry, all this snow lately has me thinking about Christmas, not feeling festive AT ALL, just thinking. Come on spring!

Vicodin Good!

OK, this is sort of fun. Hopefully it is coherent, I just took a vicodin. Today I woke up and I couldn't stand up straight without pain. I didn't think too much of it but as the day wore on, I still couldn't stand up straight. I have never been to a chiropractor but something in me said, you really should go, so after about 7 hours of slumping over I carted myself and Stella to Dr. Jary. Of course my lovely HMO is not accepted, but luckily they only charged me $40 for my x-rays and $10 for my appointment. So, I really expected them to say nothing was wrong, but to my shock, I was informed that I had a pinched nerve in my back. The doctor asked me if I'd been in a traumatic accident and I couldn't recall any, until later when I talked to my dad. I now remember about 8 years ago I was rear ended in Plymouth on Ann Arbor Road in front of the Einstein Bros by a DTE cube van and it pushed me onto the front lawn of EB and my seat broke and I fell backwards. At the time, I was not hurt and nothing happened after that. Well, apparently until today. So, anyway, I need to go to the chiropractor 3 times a week, I can no longer sit on any comfy chairs until I'm healed and I have to put ice on it 3 times a day for 20 minutes and I can't lift anything over 15 pounds. What a pain in the ass. Not that I wish anything on Matt, but damn, can this be it for me for a while. Also, I can't sleep on my stomach anymore, this is my preferred position if you must know. The neat thing though is that tonight about 8pm, the doctor called to make sure I wasn't in too much pain and that I understand what he wanted me to do. That just never happens anymore. I would recommend this guy to anyone. The thing that sucks though is that I'm only 30, I thought this was the time in your life where your supposed to feel your best so that you know what your missing when your in your 50's and dealing with back pain and heart disease and glaucoma just to name a few. I really feel like I'm being jipped or something. So, bout half an hour ago I popped a vicodin and I am feelin good. I think however that my painting expedition that week and a half ago aggrivated it and made it come to life. The doc said that he was surprised that at this stage I wasn't having tingling, numbness and shooting pains in my legs. Scary! Also, this was an interesting tidbit I learned at the doc today. All those nerves in your spine basically tell your body what to do, so if one of those nerves is pinched, then parts like your sexual organs, bladder and what not don't always work properly. Now, the bladder thing made sense, but the sexual organs??? The woman who did my x-ray said that a patient of theirs was having difficulties getting pregnant, they found she had a pinched nerve and once it was corrected, she went on to have 4 children. This was interesting to me as Matt and I have been trying for about the last 8 months with no success and possibly even a miscarriage last September. So, this gave me some hope that there is another baby in our future.

Tonight I watched two movies, Disturbia and Premonition. They were good, I think Distrubia was the better of the two. That's all I've got for now it's time for beddy bye.

New Opportunity, Maybe You Should Try It Out.

Just so everyone who does read my blog knows, I have been accepted as part of this amazing new site called Pay Per Post located at www.payperpost.com What I am hoping that it will do is really just give me more income and as you all have read, we can really use that right now. My co-worker emailed me about this woman who has multiple blogs and she runs multiple things on her blogs that earn her extra money. You will notice new content in my blog such as product reviews and general chit chat about different subjects than I have tackled before. The cool thing about Pay Per Post is that this has so much potential to earn EXTREMELY great money. I am watching a video and they have a panel of Pay Per Post bloggers talking about all the money they earn. One woman has earned something like $17,000. I find that truly amazing and if I could earn a $1000 I would thrilled. So, if any of you would like info on this, please contact me and I will fill you in. I guess my goal for taking this on really is to 1. either pay my car payment each month, or 2. heck pay my mortgage each month. So, hope that I will not disappoint anyone, but I can't wait to see where this opportunity takes me!
blog reviews

Lesson Learned and Lives Passed On.

So, the other day I decided to kick my new job hunt into full gear, mostly due to panic. I am 30 years old, with 8 years of graphic design experience, there is no reason for me to be struggling this much. I have experience in web, print, marketing and illustration I should be able to find a good job! Not to mention worry about being able to make my house payment. So, I decided to look at all the job boards I could find, there are more out there than I knew of just by googling. Well, to tell you the truth, there aren't many jobs out there for graphic designers that don't have both print and web and flash and html experience, which actually isn't totally fair as all those jobs require specialty training and skills. However, due to Michigan's current economic status, many companies want an all-in-one kinda employee and to be honest, they don't want to pay for it. Sadly, in my current job, I have positioned myself to have much flexibility and decent pay, enough to be the breadwinner of the family and pay the bulk of our bills. But, when suddenly work drops off and because I'm working mostly from home, it becomes a case of out of sight, out of mind with my boss. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy for the most part and he's really come a long way in the organization department but you just simply can't make a life on 20 hours a week, not with any kind of home and certainly not in Michigan these days. So, as I said I was looking on all those wonderful job boards and decided to return to old trusty Monster. I hadn't updated my resume on there in a couple of years and decided to go ahead and do that. Well, let me just tell you, not that it's been a complete turn around, but companies have been looking at my resume left and right and I have been contacted by 2 recruiters for ACTUAL JOBS THAT REALLY EXIST TODAY, RIGHT NOW, NO KIDDING! To me, this is so exciting, I was starting to really worry that nothing was out there for me, but I have been redeemed. There is hope out there, at least that has been restored. And, just a tip, to get your Monster resume back at the top of the pile, make small changes to it and save them and that updates them as if they are new and more new employers will see yours. Good tip huh? Got that one believe it or not from my MIL who has never used the internet, but talks a hell of alot with the ladies that work at the dentist office. Thanks mom!

On a different note poor miss Stella is dealing with the croup again, uh, and so is mommy, not daddy so much as it is momma. We are on day 4 of this wonderful thing that is causing me, to have to sleep in her bed, which is ok, but I bought a cheapy mattress from Ikea, which works just fine for her, but for me on the other hand, I'm so worried I'm gonna ruin it because of my weight, not sure of the weight limit. So far, so good. Also, on Wednesday, I was heading to my MIL's late as usual but today we were going to her fave scrapbook store, so it was OK. I was supposed to be at her house by 10:45, which would mean I would leave our house at 10:30. Well, we didn't end up leaving our house until 11:15 but in the process of trying to take our normal path, we were blocked off by police cars in that direction due to some horrific accident. All I said to Stella was "God, I hope there were no kids in the car." A few hours later, our neighbor Cindy is knocking on our door with a card in her hand. I invite her in our home and she proceeds to tell me that the elderly gentleman that lives across the street with his wife, died tragically today in a car accident. I was paralyzed, I said "don't tell me it was the accident I saw this morning right off our street?" And she confirmed that indeed it was. By her understanding, he was hit head on and died on impact. It took the paramedics 30 minutes to remove him from his vehicle with the jaws of life. So sad, I didn't know Mr. Price much at all, but Bob and Cindy did, and Bod was Mr. Price's buddy. Always over there from what I could see, no matter the weather. Matt wonders if maybe this Spring and Summer, Bob may wander to see him if he's muddling in the garage, I think he really wants a "buddy" so this would be good for Matt. It's just scary about the accident, because who knows if it could've been Stella and I that got hit if I'd actually been on time that morning. I think my lesson here, at least to me is find the signs in your life that indicate that you need to slow down, it may just be the thing that saves your life.

Here's just a little before and after of Stella's first real haircut.

We've Been Busy.

This was my weekend to be creative. I felt the urge to decorate. We moved into our house October of 2006 and pretty heavily painted all available surfaces. All except the bathroom, our upstairs bedroom and our little hallway. The bathroom because I haven't been able to decide exactly what I want to keep in there, just ugly fixtures, our bedroom because we are exposed due to a stairway with no doorway (I like it that way), don't feel so closed in and our poor little hallway because I just didn't know what to do with it. So, this week I decided to do something different. I wanted to create an area of interest in our itty bitty house that was like "oh wow, that's interesting." So, I decided to do a faux finish, keep in mind, this is my first time working with a faux painting product. It's definitely not to everyones taste, but in our house, we just do things and aren't afraid of color as anyone who has been in our home can tell. Living room = army green, kitchen = burnt orange, my studio = cranberry, Stella's room = dark purple and now (drumroll) turquoise with an opalescent white glaze over top. It came out nice I think and Stella and I have decided to pretend to swim when we sit in our hallway now because it reminds us of an oasis. Also, I created the light fixture from an object I found at the Ann Arbor Reuse Center, spray painted it white and Matt geniously created a thing with cut and bent hangers that wrap around the existing light fixture flesh with the ceiling. GENUS!! Here are those pics. The next project was the light over our kitchen table. The previous light was purchased from Ikea and we just found it to not really filter light well and to be honest we'd just grown out of it. So, be unconventional as we are, we took a paint can and Matt cut into the bottom, bent back the rough edges and I poked holes into the can all over to filter the light. I then took it outside and spray painted it white. Voila, weekend "This Old House" complete! Here are those pics as well.

Testing Testing S-T-E-L-L-A

So, at this moment, my DD is sitting in her room for what I have dubbed "Quiet Time." This is a test that Matt and I have decided to try due to the fact that since she was little Stella NEVER, NEVER, NEVER napped for us. If we were lucky, we could eek out like 45 minutes maybe 3 times a week when she was real little, but after about 1, it went to nada. Currently our biggest issue with raising her is that wonderful thing known as the inability to listen until about attempt #5 when your blood is boiling and now you're actually yelling at them. So, today was the day I was to start the process of blissful quiet time. I informed her of it yesterday and again reiterated it today before we left for dance class. We came home and watched some TV, had lunch and the usual. I had already decided that for Valentines Day I was going to get her one of the Hannah Montana CD's. After about 15 minutes of explaining to her that it was music for her room and not something to put on the tv she was like OK, but can I get a doll house??? Oh, wait, I missed a step, she also proved to me today that she can spell her name. I asked her periodically throughout the day and each time she stated S-T-E ell ellayyy. Yeah, so I then told her that I was taking her to Target to get her a prize for learning to spell her name, knowing full well that it was really for Valentines Day. When she promptly asked could she get a doll house. So, here we are, back from Target, Hannah CD in the player and other than the din of melodic tunes, I have a quiet, albeit messy house. I don't care, I'm gonna enjoy this time.

Here's Meez.

*EDITED*

Ok, so I fell prey to creating a Meez for myself. You should check it out, it's pretty fun. I will leave her, er me, up in the corner for a while, and maybe change her up a bit. Some who haven't seen me in a while will say, "but that doesn't really look like you!" Ah, but it does. I gave myself bangs the other night for the first time in like 10 years and my hair no longer appears as blond as it once was, more of a brunette now.

Can someone tell me how you can go from being EXTREMELY excited and motivated about an idea to AH WHO CARES in the matter of a few hours? It sucks, and I think it stems from WAY TOO MANY to count nights of staying up WAY TOO LATE that my lack of sleep causes my motivation to just go out the window at around 5:30pm during the week. I feel like I work a hell of a lot, but lately my paycheck reflects otherwise. Maybe for me, I need to work when the feeling strikes me and then get back to the doldrums of the other work. Anybody else have a time that the creative bug strikes them? I'd love to hear how your brain works.

*I removed said MEEZ because 3.5 year old said didn't look like me. What can you do?

So much can change in less than one day.

I never know how to be perfectly gracious, but at this moment I feel overwhelmed by kindness. You never know how people can reach out to you when you are in need of some compassion. Matt and I really put ourselves out there this time and people were very responsive. The morning started out with a massive headache, but also with a little bit of hope. On a whim I sent out the email about our desire to get our Prosper loan funded and can I just tell you, within a matter of about 7 hours, our loan went from 61% funded to 100%. It really took me by surprise as this was my third and final attempt at getting a loan. Aside from all that, the outpouring of concern, understanding, sympathy, comfort truly warmed my heart. A special thanks goes out to Mars for the continuous daily support during such a stressful situation, Michelle with a very generous gift that I WILL be paying back and of course Jenn, my coffee clatcher, fellow mother, understanding dear dear friend whom I completely unloaded onto and then laughed quite loudly when she suggested a prescription for Zoloft. Only such a great friend could suggest you taking medication! Love ya Jenn, guess you do think I'm a little nuts. *Mental Note:* burn those naughty notes you naughty naughty girl.